August 2, 2025

Bless me, friends, for I have not posted a new piece in seven weeks. I have my excuses. Boy, do I have them. I had a big consulting job that got in the way. That’s why. I’ve been injured twice – bruised ribs and a sprained wrist – certainly that’s a good enough reason. I’ve been traveling, and there’s no way you can write while that’s happening. I got out of my rhythm, and I’m having a hard time getting back into it.  Yep – I’ve got excellent excuses.

Benjamin Franklin understands. He said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Wait, maybe he doesn’t understand. Let’s fast forward 200 years – Aldous Huxley understands bravery in the face of all these new world pressures. He said, “Several excuses are always less convincing that one.” Wait. That doesn’t help either.

Fine, Ben. Fine, Aldous. No excuses. I just did not make it happen.  

My thanks to many of you, most recently my friend Tom, who reached out and told me to get back to it. Another friend named Tom is too nice to criticize me publicly, but I know that he’s thinking I’m a jackass for taking such a long break. He’s not wrong. And I may be wrong about this, but I’m guessing there are many of you who were thinking, “Thank goodness he stopped writing. He was crushing my will to live every other week.” 

So it is with gratitude and apologies that I say, “I’m back.”

Part of the motivation to return came from a book I’ve been reading about the pursuit of happiness. You know it’s a topic that fascinates me. I’m happy and optimistic by nature, but I don’t take it for granted. There’s enough suffering in the world to steal happiness from even the most optimistic of us. Some of that suffering cannot be ignored, but I’m hopeful that in the long run, our optimism and happiness can win out. My friend Craig called me this week and reminded me that today is a good day for a good day. He’s exactly right.

The book I’m reading is Arthur C. Brooks’ From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. His main point – Don’t base your happiness, purpose, or any feelings of success on your job, your career, or any accomplishments you may have been recognized for. If you do, you are headed for a fall.  And no matter how great we think we might have been in our career, once we leave or retire, people move on. Success, fame, or whatever you want to call it, is fleeting. 

There are songs written about the dangers of living in the past. Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days and Bowling for Soup’s 1985 come to mind. The remaining years of my life will involve neither speedballs nor Whitesnake’s car. We have to move on.

I held four different positions in my career –teacher, principal, human resources assistant superintendent, and superintendent.  I loved them all. The longest I ever stayed in any one position was eleven years. For me, and Brooks concurs, the most exciting and meaningful years are the ones where my learning curve was the steepest. 

I know that I am at my best when I have significant learning curves in my life.

If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to keep using my career expertise as an educational and leadership consultant. I’m enjoying that tremendously. I don’t think I will be as lucky as my father, who even at age 86, is still practicing law. He says that he’s done now, but I’m not sure I believe him. I’ll do it for as long as people find my services to be useful, and I look forward to it.

Pickleball and golf have plenty of learning in them, and even more other positives – physical fitness, social interactions, and a lot more thinking and strategy than one would think. But it’s writing where I feel the steepness of the learning curve the most: the discipline and moderate stress of a self-imposed every two-week deadline, the creativity and newly acquired knowledge that it takes to stay fresh, the endless push to revise and edit, the courage required to press that “Publish” button, the use of AI, the community of old and new friends who read and stay in touch through the blog posts, and maintaining a website that makes it all work. It is a wonderful new curve in the second half of my life. 

I’ve recently added another new learning curve/hobby to my life that I hope to write about soon, but as Derek Zoolander said when asked about his new male modeling look, Magnum, “I shouldn’t even be talking about that yet.” More about that in a future blog post.

So yes, I’m back, and I look forward to what’s next.

Have a good day, y’all.

Post #135 on www.drmdmatthews.com

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NOTES

I’ve had too many injuries this summer. One was totally my fault. Actually, I blame the Zion National Park naturalist who pointed out six California Condors, the birds that barely avoided extinction, soaring with their 10-foot wingspans against the red cliffs of Zion. How could I help but look up? Though I should have done what Jill did. She stopped her e-bike before admiring the amazing birds. I didn’t, and hit a curb while gazing upwards, landing pretty hard on on the left side of my back and bruising a few ribs. That was 7 weeks ago, and the pain is almost gone! What an idiot. As my friend Ben said, “You definitely have the falloffabikealotusdisease.” I need to follow my own advice about paying attention, which I wrote about two years ago after a bike crash that should have been much worse. You can find it here.

Then last Saturday, I sprained my wrist when I hit an awkward backhand return of a lob shot. I heard a click. I self-diagnosed the sprain, with the assistance of ChatGPT. But I did go to Malibu Urgent Care (I love Malibu Urgent Care!. I have lots of experience there and I have nothing but good things to say) after the swelling increased the next day. They X-rayed and found no fractures. Good news, but I’m in a splint and I don’t see myself being back to 100% for a few weeks. This one was not my fault, except that people who play pickleball do find ways to injure themselves. As my sensitive friend Peter texted, “A 60-year-old dude with a pickleball injury? Huh, hardly ever hear about that happening.” Thanks, Peter. You always know the right thing to say. 

On a more somber note, I also wrote that sometimes the suffering cannot be ignored. July 31 is always a tough day for me. My 4-year-old son Sean died 28 years ago, on July 31, 1997. His mother, his brother, his Godfather and I all feel his loss even more acutely this time of year. We all communicated, remembered, and shared kind words about our boy and our family. It was cathartic and powerful, and we go on doing the best we can. I wrote about this back in 2022, and it is my most read post ever. We all have pain and suffering in our lives, and I wish solace and strength to all of you who are dealing with it at this time in your life. As they say in the Compassionate Friends group, “You are not alone.”

You can find Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life here.

Image courtesy of ChatGPT